It should be a happy day; it was once. It’s my dad’s third birthday since he passed, I think. I’ve lost count…that whole part of my life is a blur. What is it now? His un-birthday? My kids won’t even remember it…I don’t remember my grandfathers’. I miss him. I normally work from home on Fridays, but I found an excuse to go to work so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts all day.
My good friend is doing the fade on me. I really have to go “no contact” on him. What a day.
My boss asked me today about Hinduism/Buddhism and detachment. “How,” she wondered, “do you have a detached marriage?” “And if you love someone and that person dies, are you supposed to not grieve?”
I don’t know the answer. It’s something I’ve wondered about myself, though I haven’t given it much thought in a long time.
My husband also thought that the Gita says not to feel at all–never to laugh too hard, or cry. And I disagree with that to an extent. I think the Gita says to feel the feelings, but not to let them govern your actions. Self-control, basically.
My son turned two a couple of weeks ago. He’s so big now–a boy, not a baby. My daughter’s first words were “up” and “duck.” My son’s were “car,” “ball,” and “mom.” My husband said “he’s a boy, all right.”
My friend requested to be his godfather. Which I was very happy about, except we don’t really have godparents in Indian culture and the only context I’ve ever heard the word in is in the context of Mafia dons.
I haven’t blogged much lately; I’ve entered into correspondence with an old friend, and I’ve been writing fiction and poetry.
We may have to move cross country for my husband’s medical training. This disturbs me as I have a very nice job here, we have a house here, my mom is here, and I have some old friends here. We have 11 months to figure out what we will do.
So that’s the roundup.