Long story short, I failed my three hour test too. The ensuing week or two have been a nightmare of blood sugar measurements, chickpeas, fish, and eggs. But I have been managing. For the most part my numbers seem to be under control.
This is the first time in my life I have had a really serious illness. It is scary. After receiving my diagnosis, I cried for a few days. I felt dirty. I felt like I’d brought this on myself by being fat. The truth is that in early pregnancy, I had a toddler and a full time job, and my father had just died, and my husband was on a surgical rotation. I really didn’t pay as much attention to diet and exercise as I should have. I was also very tired, which made it hard to exercise.
In retrospect, I had terrible fatigue that did not lift during my second trimester. That was a clue.
In a way this diagnosis is a good thing. It is teaching me to focus on taking care of my mind and body, as opposed to all the other things I have been worrying about. It is an early warning sign that I am predisposed to Type II. It has taught me how to eat in order to manage my weight, and that I am able to do that. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to before, but just that I was clueless and needed some kind of structure and guidance. I didn’t understand about carbs and glucose and insulin and that too much free glucose was making me fat, and I also didn’t understand that I could get immediate feedback on what I ate by testing my blood sugar. It has taught me that exercise is not optional.
I would like to think that this diagnosis is a strong impetus to make some positive changes in my life.