I had a nightmare a few nights ago where I was reliving the worst moments of my dad’s cancer treatment. And in the middle of it I woke up and the quote I mentioned previously came into my head–“I might never forget, but I need not always remember.” I reminded myself that the middle of the night on a workday was not the time I needed to relive all that awfulness. And miraculously, I was able to go back to sleep and slept for the rest of the night. Physically, I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable. My nose is really stopped up and I don’t know if it’s allergies (due to spring), a slight cold, or if this is the onset of the horrible pregnancy congestion I had last time during the third trimester, and I need to start nose steroids. I’m really trying to delay starting them as long as possible. I don’t like the side effects and I don’t think you are supposed to use them for a long time–and I have 20 more weeks to go. At age 36 my husband is still a first-year medical resident and it’s been nine months now. I really, really am beginning to resent that he is never home and I am stuck doing my job (which pays our bills, as his entire salary is going into childcare) on top of the job of 1.8 parents, while I have pregnancy fatigue. I have no free time to care for myself, write, or do any of the things I loved. There is no way out of this mess in the foreseeable future. It’s not like he can change jobs or something. I really just want to relax and focus on me and my job for a bit.