Leaving it all behind

I just want to leave for a week. Go somewhere warm with a beach and lie around in the sun.

But life isn’t like that, is it? At least not once you have a baby.

I’m afraid of where my life is going. Or rather, where it isn’t. I had so much potential once. There are so many things right now that I wish were different but I feel trapped to change.

I wish I had more friends and were closer to my family. But my family all live far or abroad and I don’t know how to make friends living in an isolated suburb in the winter. I just want to move…but I can’t because my husband is in medical training. I wish my mom lived with us. I’m concerned about her since my dad died. She too has cancer. I guess I’m going to lose her too.

I’m overweight, I have been watching what I eat super-carefully and it’s made no difference.

I’m tired and sick all the time myself these days. I don’t accomplish anything I need to, whether it’s housecleaning or work. My husband watches the baby way more than I do despite his grueling job. I have no energy.

I don’t want to be in this rut forever.

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2 thoughts on “Leaving it all behind

  1. The Presents of Presence January 5, 2015 / 8:58 pm

    You have so much on your plate. You must take time for you dear one. Baby steps forward into life but write, let go, dream, be loving to you xo

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