I am finally (three weeks since I got sick and three doses of antibiotic later) starting to feel a little better.
I feel tired these days. And I miss my old life. In the space of maybe 2.5 years I went from single with healthy working parents, to a married parent myself, with ill parents, and a spouse who isn’t around due to his job. It has been a difficult and rough transition that has turned my hair gray. I miss not having responsibility and obligations. I look wistfully at the trajectories of other people who had time to fall in love slowly and sweetly, savor marriage, have kids, have their kids know their grandparents, and then in their 50s had to deal with the things I am dealing with now.
I suppose there will always be people who have it better, and worse. All you can do is focus on yourself and on today.