Sunday Night Insomnia

I can never sleep on Sunday nights these days.  I don’t know if it’s because I sleep late on weekends, because I’m worried about the upcoming workweek, because my mom often has Monday oncologist appointments, or just that I have general discomfort and can’t sleep that well these days.  It’s probably some combination of all of those.

My mom is at the oncologist’s getting blood work done.  Although she is “done” the chemo, she still looks thin and gaunt and completely unlike her self of just a year ago.   The weight she lost after surgery doesn’t seem to ever have come back.

I wish I had my mom back.  In November, we are coming up on one year since her diagnosis.  I know that a lot of people have recurred at that point.  I hope she doesn’t still look sick because she still has cancer.  It’s been an awfully long time since she had any kind of scans.

I went to a conference and gave a talk last week.  I hope I looked pregnant and not just fat.  I am feeling exhausted, like I did in my first trimester.  I don’t know if it’s the extra pregnancy weight, the hormones, going to the conference, or what.  On the plus side, I saw (from the outside) my tummy twitch yesterday.  That was neat.  Like having an alien inside!


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