It’s still a girl

Just before we went to get the ultrasound, I actually was reading about Malala and Zarmeena.

I just Googled “India baby girls.”  Every single link I could find was shocking.

Despite all these horrid links about how Indian families see female babies, my family is ultra-liberal and they don’t care what gender the baby is.  Neither does my husband’s family.  My husband’s family lives in India and are fairly traditional, but his older sister is a surgeon, his aunt is an OBGYN, and every woman in their family is educated and successful to the max.

But now that I know I am having a girl, I am really feeling…wobbly.  It’s not that I will love a girl any less, but knowing she’s a girl, I’m petrified.

Can I be honest?  I was hoping for a boy–not that I like boys better; in fact I don’t.  I love how loving and sensitive girls are and I’m not sure I’d have the same bond with a boy.  But the things I’ve gone through, I was hoping my kid wouldn’t ever have to deal with.  Society’s obsession with looks and weight, difficulty in getting married if you are educated, difficulty in balancing career and family…

I should just be happy that the baby is healthy so far.  But…*sigh*.

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